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Living instead of surviving

It's been a long time since I posted on the blog.

To be honest I'm not sure why I stopped. Life probably got in the way or I really started living, I'm not sure. But I'm back, for now at least.

A lot has happened in the past couple of years.

Firstly, I added a couple new diagnosis' to my long long list, including Gastroparesis, Hypoglycaemia and Mast Cell Activation Syndrome. I added new specialists and health professionals, had admission after admission, procedure after procedure, medication after medication and even said goodbye to some of my team.

Excitingly I also graduated from University, got a job as an Occupational Therapist, travelled, laughed, cried and lived. It hasn't been an easy couple of years.

I won't go into everything that's happened, otherwise it'd probably take me another year and a half to write it all out. But I will give you the highlights.

Health
Health wise there is never a dull moment. Boring is not something you can call my life, I'm constantly being thrown different challenges that I have to deal with. Just as we got my POTS under control, my stomach decided it wanted to join the party. Almost overnight I went from being on the Low FODMAP elimination diet and generally being okay, to the next morning not even being able to tolerate the smell of food. I distinctly remember the day actually. What followed were more tests and procedures, medications and tears. Eventually I was given a Gastroparesis (GP) diagnosis and we've been fighting to get on top of it ever since. What followed that though was a Mast Cell Activation Syndrome (MCAS) diagnosis. For years my GI has been convinced something allergy related was going on and finally we got to the bottom of it. So far I've failed 2 mast cell stabilisers and am waiting to see a new immunologist but we're hopefully if we can get that under control it'll help my GP as well.




University
Well I graduated. I literally nearly killed myself in the process though. Not like it sounds don't worry! About a month before I was due to finish my degree I got very sick with my stomach. I was admitted to hospital and was very very unwell. But I was so determined to finish on time that I ignored that advice of my health care team and pushed myself to breaking point. When I say I nearly killed myself, what I mean is that I neglected my health that I was so unwell everyone was worried I'd have a heart attack. But I didn't and I managed to graduate and get a job!



Life
I've been working really hard since graduating from uni on actually living, rather than simply surviving. It hasn't been easy because I've gotten so used to thinking I was living when I really honestly wasn't. I've been working really hard on trying to have experiences where it doesn't matter if my body is yelling at me. Or even when it is, still enjoying life anyway. Having moments where it literally takes your breath away and you honestly can say you've been living.




It's been a big couple of years and it'll take a long time to catch up, but I'm excited for the next stage and whatever it holds.

BB




























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