hypermobile spoonie

A while ago I posted saying that I wanted to take part in a bike ride for charity in a couple of years. I really would like to do this because it gives me something to aim for in my life and something that I can work for DESPITE everything else. Whilst my progress has been stalled over the past couple of weeks, thanks to breaking my ankle, I've devised a plan to hopefully get me to where I want to be. I'm not one of those people that can say, before chronic pain/illness I was fit and then it took everything away from me. I didn't do very much before I got ill. When I look back on it, it was probably because my joints always ached (due to hypermobility) however, I never actually thought this wasn't normal. I danced and did gymnastics and trampolining, all things aided by my hypermobility. I still love to dance, but now chronic pain decides when I can and can't do it. So I decided that once my ankle heals there are going to be some changes made. I actually like bike...

Today was a busy day spent at uni with my friend, sitting for 5 HOURS trying to work our how to do our assignment. Thankfully I think we've worked part of it out, I'm going to leave the rest for tomorrow. The day didn't start out so well, as I barely slept all night and then chose for some unknown stupid reason to wear my hair up. No sleep + tight hair= migraine! Then my ankle had been aching all day and it just got worse and worse to the point that I actually had to take off my boot in my sign language class, which didn't help. So now I've had a shower, taken my boot off and am lying with my ankle resting on a pillow waiting for my mountains of pain killers to kick in. So far... no luck. I don't know how much longer I can keep this whole uni + ankle thing going because I get home and I'm exhausted. It's not just my ankle that hurts, the pain goes all the way up to my knee. Not to mention the fact that I have all my normal joint pain as well! Ahh thi...

Yesterday was a pretty hectic day! In the morning I went to uni for a few hours and then rushed home for my physio appointment. I was greeted by my mum (who took the day off) with an amazing lunch! A sandwich in the form of a french baguette with salad, turkey and cranberry from my favourite french patisserie! It was so special! She'd also picked up some plum vinegar (my childhood in a bottle, like soy sauce) and dairy-free chocolate chips. It just made me so happy! Later we even stopped and bought my very first Salted Caramel Coconut Icecream :) So good!! This of course was all in preparation for my first physio appointment post fracture. And although I'm only 4 weeks into recovery, I felt it was time to go and have a chat to my physio about everything. She's like my rock and knows pretty much everything about me, as I've known her now for over 6 months! Which I can't believe, but anyway! So firstly I just went in a chatted to her and we tried some pointing and...

When you live with chronic illnesses, just getting through each day can seem like a challenge. It becomes a lot harder to find enjoyable things each day. Everything becomes a challenge that needs to be overcome. When I hurt my hip, it was like I'd fallen into a hole that I couldn't climb out of. I spent each day lying at home thinking about how much my life sucked and starting to believe that maybe I was crazy. My scans were clean, there was no reason for me to be in pain. I started wishing with every scan that something would show up, just so that I could say 'I told you so' to all my doctors. Then I met my physio. She showed me that I wasn't crazy, finally someone believed me. And not only that, she showed me that there might be a reason behind all this, she gave me answers. She pulled me out of the hole. I was getting back on track, going to physio every week, doing my exercises, improving. I thought that everything was looking up. After all, I went from not bein...

I've just gotten back from other morning at uni and I have the best news! Apart from the fact that it was super cold this morning, once we got to uni I logged on to my email and found one from my tutor for the winter subject that I did over the holidays. Why I was so upset yesterday was because I'd received my results from the subject, and it said I had failed. I did not at all expect to fail because I did very well in the exam and felt quite confident in the essay that I wrote. I was very upset yesterday and spent most of the night crying, feeling like a complete failure. Also I think that everything had been piling on which made it worse. So last night I sent my tutor an email asking for my essay result etc. and today he replied saying that he was unsure why my results were coming up as a fail but that I had PASSED!! This made me so happy I nearly screamed in the middle of my tutorial! Later I got another email saying that there had been a technical error with my results an...

Sorry for being so MIA recently, a lot has been happening! My wonderful friend Potato came out of her surgery obviously feeling a bit battered but it was successful, which is such a relief for everyone! I've passed my 3rd week with a fractured ankle, going back for my x-ray and follow-up appointment last Monday, which was alright, apart from the fact that my surgeon thinks I'm crazy! Guess I hate doctors that know nothing about hypermobility and the non-musculoskeletal impact of it! I've been feeling quite down and sad recently, I guess I just feel like nothing is going right in my life at the moment. Yesterday I got some pretty awful news, which eventually I will be able to say, but just for the moment I can't. So I was pretty upset yesterday when I got home from university. To top it all off I haven't slept since I did my ankle and it's really beginning to get to me. It's time to talk to someone about everything, I know that, but I just need the push. I ...

Today I'm off to get my 2 week post fracture x-ray for my appointment on Monday. I'm not looking forward to it because they'll be moving my ankle and taking off the boot etc. which will hurt but I really want to know if it has began healing. This could mean the difference between going on my uni placement and missing out! Also dad and I are going to find some food for me for this weekend because they are going away on a trip to the beach. I'm not going because I can't sit in a car for long enough, so my friends are going to come stay with me. Yay for pizza and drinks! Also, I'm looking for suggestions for hobbies. I'm bored out of my mind not being able to do anything, and whilst I have started back at uni I still have a lot of free time, not being able to work and all so I need some things to do. I desperately want a dog, but that's not going to happen, and what I usually do when I'm bored is dance, which I can't do with my ankle so I need sug...