Skip to main content

MIA

Sorry for being so MIA recently, a lot has been happening! My wonderful friend Potato came out of her surgery obviously feeling a bit battered but it was successful, which is such a relief for everyone! I've passed my 3rd week with a fractured ankle, going back for my x-ray and follow-up appointment last Monday, which was alright, apart from the fact that my surgeon thinks I'm crazy! Guess I hate doctors that know nothing about hypermobility and the non-musculoskeletal impact of it! I've been feeling quite down and sad recently, I guess I just feel like nothing is going right in my life at the moment. Yesterday I got some pretty awful news, which eventually I will be able to say, but just for the moment I can't. So I was pretty upset yesterday when I got home from university. To top it all off I haven't slept since I did my ankle and it's really beginning to get to me.

It's time to talk to someone about everything, I know that, but I just need the push. I don't know how to talk to my parents about it, but they have a psychologist at my physio and I was thinking about going there because she does have some background in chronic pain. Potato also suggested that I talk to the psychologist from our pain management program and ask her for some recommendations. For some reason I just can't bring myself to do it! I know that she gave my parents a list of people in my area that might be able to help, but I don't know where it is and I don't know how to ask my mum where it is. I know I'm going to have to either email the psychologist and ask or ask my parents I just need to get up the courage first.

On the plus side, the surgeon said that next week I might be able to take off my boot to slepe, which probably won't happen, however it means that I'll be able to go back to physio. So I booked myself an appointment for next week and I don't think I'll actually end up doing any physio, probably just talking for the entire half hour, but maybe then I can bring up the psychologist thing. In reality, I think that I need someone to tell me I should, so if my physio suggested it, I think it would happen. It's just hard to admit you need help, which I do.

Ahh oh well! I'm off to uni now for the morning, whilst my mum goes in to have day surgery. I'm so tired, but I got a little more sleep last night so everything is a bit better.

BB :)

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Turquoise for Dysautonomia Awareness Month

Again it's been a month since I posted... Opps! It's been an intense month! My endoscopy went well. They were worried about an anaphylactic reaction to the Propofol but luckily that didn't happen. Sadly though they didn't find anything so still no answers but I've got my gastro appointment in about 3 weeks so hopefully we'll have a plan to move forward then. I also managed to have a POTS flare after the procedure due to the 'eating and drinking nothing for 18 hours' thing. But after fluids and the threat of an admission I went home to snuggle up with Ami. Next in September was an anaphylactic reaction to peanuts, uni problems and a possible CRPS diagnosis, amongst others. Let's just focus on the possible CRPS diagnosis. As you may or may not know, I fractured my right ankle in 2014, followed by 13 weeks in a boot and crutches + 4 months of rehab, plus rehab that continues to this day. My ankle has since never be the same, but usually it...

Absent

Sorry I've been so absent recently. I've had loads of exams this week and I've been quite stressed and not super healthy. I don't think my body has been coping very well with all the stress and I've had some GI flare ups and joint issues these past couple of days. On Saturday night I went to a party and I paid for my choices the next day as I couldn't walk without my crutches. I do through phases where I am almost jumping off the walls and feeling amazing and the next day I can't walk. Boom and Bust. I've never been very good at managing the boom and bust and stress cycle. I guess I haven't really mastered the art of pacing quite yet. I also did something quite stupid in my semi-drunken state on Saturday. I told some of my friends what I'd been going through. Usually I would never say anything and I wish that I could take it back, but I can't. I guess in that moment I just felt safe. Now don't get me wrong, I didn't tell them everythi...

The wrath of medication forgetfulness

I'm really feeling the effects of my stupid forgetful brain this morning. I didn't realise how much my medication helps (because sometimes it doesn't feel like it does anything) until I forgot to take it last night. I have to admit, it probably wouldn't have been a great combination with the alcohol that was probably still in my system when I went to bed, but still, I'm really feeling the effects this morning. The bad part, my rescue medication has some seriously horrible side effects so I probably won't be taking that any time soon. I guess I deserve the pain I'm in this morning, after all I did drink and then forget to take my medication before I went to bed last night, over estimating my pain management skills I think. Now even the sound of my computer keys tapping is sending my brain into sensory overload and I have no idea how I'm going to get all my assignments done today. I deserve this, but still I feel sorry for myself. The feeling of waking u...