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Obsessive Planning/Control

So my dizziness aka POTS has subsided enough for me to be able to write my essay and this :) yay! Good news is my essay is due today and I've finished and submitted it. I have no idea how I actually went to school and did exams and assignments for 6 months whilst being dizzy! It's terrible! I'd forgotten how great it feels to have a small part of your body working normally. As they say, you don't know what you have until its gone. SO true!

I'm super great at procrastinating when I don't find something interesting, I just find all these other things to do. My head is just so full of the mountains of things I need to do that I get overwhelmed and don't do anything. I think that's the thing with chronic pain/illnesses, we have so little control over our treatment, how we feel on a day to day basis etc. that we (or maybe just me) end up planning and trying to control other aspects of our lives. So what I did yesterday is before I started writing my essay I made a list of all the things I need/want to do after I finished my essay. That way, whenever I felt like researching something instead of writing my essay I just stop and write it on the list for later. My list is pretty long now actually but because I've finished my essay I am free to whatever I want! Until I have to go to work I guess :(

My point is, it's ok to have those little obsessive traits and coping mechanisms as long as you find a way to deal with them. That's the most important thing!

I'm really hoping my POTS flareup wasn't because of the new vitamin supplements I'm taking. That would be really bad. Oh well, for now it seems to be back under control luckily. Hopefully it was just a minor setback. I can't afford for this to be a problem again. I'd just gotten one thing under control. Can't happen again! :(

OH well.. off to watch movies and eat salty food before work tonight BB :)
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