I know I keep saying that I promise I'll post and whatever, but to be honest I'm not even sure if anyone actually reads this. Life has been pretty hectic recently and before starting this post I didn't even bother to look and see when I last posted because I know it was forever ago. One of my new years resolutions is to become more active in the chronic illness world so I thought I'd start now because I had a sudden burst of energy.
Tomorrow is my birthday. I have mixed emotions about tomorrow as christmas didn't go to well, with me ending up in hospital. That, combines with the fact that I'm just coming to terms with how many friends I have lost since getting noticeably sick and the fact that one of my best friends is leaving for America in a couple of days, is causing me to be on an emotional roller coaster. Which is natural and should be embraced, but is terrifying none the less. Tomorrow night (my birthday night) instead of dinner which my family, I'll be going to Starlight training. It's the only session until July so I really have to go. I'm so nervous and anxious about it but excited none the less. My dad accidentally gave away a surprise that was meant to (and still will) happen when I get home, but he didn't no it was a surprise so I'm just hoping that there is at least one surprise/present tomorrow. I'm just afraid it would feel special. Yes your birthday is just another day, but I want it to be special. Also, it may be my last birthday without an official diagnosis. That appointment is a week after my birthday... to the day. All these emotions are really getting to me.
I can't believe that my appointment is so so close. It just feels like yesterday when they gave me the date and I was nervous then. That was 6 months ago. Then the day after that life changing appointment where I'm scared he won't diagnose me, I go on holidays. Probably not the best timing and I'm having mixed emotions about going. To be honest I'm having mixed emotions about everything right now. I don't know why and I'm having serious issues dealing with them. Don't get me wrong, I'm not depressed, just highly anxious I think and the sooner I get proper help the better.
Also in other news... I got a job!! No more killing myself in fast food anymore. No more huge pain flares as a result! It's an assistant/receptionist job and I start training the day after I get back from my holiday. Which is nerve wracking but my neighbour is already training there and got me an interview, which is what I did for her where we both currently work.
Anyway that is probably enough for now. I'll go back to editing my symptoms/medical issues list for my appointment and possibly preparing for a not so special birthday...
Oh btw one of the reasons I haven't been posting is because I've been doing video blogs on my computer. I was thinking about uploading them but I'm not so sure.
BB :)
Tomorrow is my birthday. I have mixed emotions about tomorrow as christmas didn't go to well, with me ending up in hospital. That, combines with the fact that I'm just coming to terms with how many friends I have lost since getting noticeably sick and the fact that one of my best friends is leaving for America in a couple of days, is causing me to be on an emotional roller coaster. Which is natural and should be embraced, but is terrifying none the less. Tomorrow night (my birthday night) instead of dinner which my family, I'll be going to Starlight training. It's the only session until July so I really have to go. I'm so nervous and anxious about it but excited none the less. My dad accidentally gave away a surprise that was meant to (and still will) happen when I get home, but he didn't no it was a surprise so I'm just hoping that there is at least one surprise/present tomorrow. I'm just afraid it would feel special. Yes your birthday is just another day, but I want it to be special. Also, it may be my last birthday without an official diagnosis. That appointment is a week after my birthday... to the day. All these emotions are really getting to me.
I can't believe that my appointment is so so close. It just feels like yesterday when they gave me the date and I was nervous then. That was 6 months ago. Then the day after that life changing appointment where I'm scared he won't diagnose me, I go on holidays. Probably not the best timing and I'm having mixed emotions about going. To be honest I'm having mixed emotions about everything right now. I don't know why and I'm having serious issues dealing with them. Don't get me wrong, I'm not depressed, just highly anxious I think and the sooner I get proper help the better.
Also in other news... I got a job!! No more killing myself in fast food anymore. No more huge pain flares as a result! It's an assistant/receptionist job and I start training the day after I get back from my holiday. Which is nerve wracking but my neighbour is already training there and got me an interview, which is what I did for her where we both currently work.
Anyway that is probably enough for now. I'll go back to editing my symptoms/medical issues list for my appointment and possibly preparing for a not so special birthday...
Oh btw one of the reasons I haven't been posting is because I've been doing video blogs on my computer. I was thinking about uploading them but I'm not so sure.
BB :)
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